2026 Mid Year Reflection

I've been MIA and proud of it lol

It is exactly 6 months into 2026 and I’m officially 31, having survived my first year of my 30s.

I know I’ve been MIA from all platforms, but maybe this can give you some perspective on where I’ve been and what’s been going on behind the scenes.

To be honest, I’m still trying to convince myself why anyone would want to read this — but also, this is my InMyThirties journal entry so whatever lol.

For context, as an astrology girly, a lot of these questions are inspired by my 5th house since the full moon in Capricorn tonight is transiting there. Feel free to check which house the full moon is transiting in your chart on astroseek.com , or check out Alexi Gigi on YouTube if you need a visual walkthrough.

okaaaaay let’s begin.

If you’re like TLDR, here’s a cheat sheet:

Question / Past Experience / How I Feel Now.

Goals & Progress

1. What did I intend to build or achieve at the start of 2026, and how does where I actually am compare?

   1. My intention for 2026 was to get a full time job with benefits (it sounded so simple LOL) in order to find peace financially, stability, and simplicity in life. I literally said I want to be a basic gurl in a corporate world.

   2. HA. is basically what the fucking universo said. hahahahahahaha.
      I went from depresso (due to almost moving across the world and what felt like a million interview rejections) to needing espresso (she’s booked and busy!).

   3. I read a book (Motivation Myth) and basically the universe said here’s an opportunity are you going to take it or are you going to keep crying?

   4. Now this gurl is a dog walker/cat sitter, Instacart/UberEats/DoorDash driver (vroom, vroom bitch), Social Media Manager/Content Creator/Video Editor. What are weekends? Cause yo no se!

   5. Honestly though, I genuinely feel happy. I am paying off my debt, I can buy myself some coffee, shit I could finally buy myself some new running shoes cause who knows how many miles these last ones have LOL.

   6. The other day my usual dog visits got canceled and I went to the beach and paddle boarded for the first time. Like how blessed am I?

2. Where has my attention genuinely gone this year — toward what matters, or toward noise?

   1. I think at the beginning of the year I lived in a life of comparison. I was surrounded by people working in a corporate world. And in my minds view, it seemed like a simple relaxed life. Like tbh, I would’ve been happy having your problems as long as my wallet was fat and I could get myself a coffee. Thats all I wanted.

   2. But what can I say, the universe doesn’t want me living a corporate life. I’ve done it all. I’ve hired the coaches, the resumes, the networking and it simply doesn’t land. Coincidentally, I’ve lost 99% of my friends living that corporate life I so desperately wanted. Was it destined? Who knows. My circle has slowing been expanding to people who live life like me. It feels like a reminder that I’m not the only one living life outside an office. So much has shifted naturally and as someone who truly believes that I am being guided and protected in this journey, I don’t question it.

   3. I think what I’ve realized what matters most to me is my freedom, my family and the 1% of friends that did survive and thats enough.
      

   * Let this be clear, I am human and there will always be a part of me that wants the “easier” life style but I don’t want to spend the time in my head trying to figure it out why not me. I want to live and enjoy what I have now, maybe that path is for later. Who knows!
   

3. What progress am I not giving myself enough credit for?

   1. I would say the healing that I had to go through in order to find peace. I was angry. I was destroyed. It got to a point where my faith felt like a lie and letting go of it felt really dark and sad.

   2. Deciding to get in my car and drive for Instacart was a double edge sword. I was so happy that I could earn money on my own terms but at what expense? My ego felt ashamed because I didn’t think the people I was surrounded by would understand. And by choosing not to care what they thought was how I found my happiness.

4. Am I building a life that looks good from the outside but feels empty on the inside — or the reverse?

   1. I would 100% say the reverse. I am still growing into it but it’s a learning process.

5. Where do my private life and public life feel most out of sync?

   1. As someone whose human design is a Manifestor, I process things by talking them out.. But I feel conflicted. I've processed where I am (working multiple odd jobs), but do I need to tell others to feel confident in it? Or would that just be seeking approval? * I need to sit on it more.

6. What version of myself did I think I’d be by now, and am I grieving that?

   1. I’m genuinely proud of where I am — I’ve paid off almost two credit cards and put money into my IRA and emergency fund. But there’s a version of me that wanted to land a six-figure job, press ctrl+alt+delete on all my debt, and save up to travel the world or invest in property somewhere. The lesson I keep coming back to though: nothing happens without a plan. Everything can change in an instant, but you have to be consistent with the small steps so you’re ready when that instant change comes.

7. Am I tying my sense of worth to productivity and achievement? What would change if I didn’t?

   1. I definitely used to. I have become more aware of when my ego is in control.

8. Where have I been saying yes and meaning no?

   1. For the longest time, I would give people access to me at all times. It was something I was known for. If you need a good friend, you call Marianna. But thats when I started asking, “If I simply stop contacting people, who would reach out to me?” I will always take pride in being a good friend, but now I do it because I want to do be a good friend not because your love for me is dependent on it.

9. What am I carrying that was never mine to carry?

   1. The need for approval. Holding people up on pedestals. There shouldn't be a pedestal — it's just a dance between two people. Sometimes you give, sometimes you take. It's only when it gets uneven that you realize there's no one on the other side when you need them.

10. Have I made space for genuine play this year, or has everything had to have a purpose?

    1. My best friend is always reminding me to have fun. So this summer, catch me outside. I’m paddle boarding, going to world cup watch parties and attending anything that will get me out from being in front of this computer.

11. What would I create, pursue, or express if no one was grading me on it?

    1. I fell out of love of making content. I remember when I felt like a content generator. Ready to answer so quickly when someone would ask me for a content idea. I would love to love making creative content authentic to me. But then that brings the question, what is authentic to this new version of me?

12. Is there a creative project, passion, or dream quietly asking for more of my attention?

    1. YouTube. I still need to do that.

13. Am I showing up in relationships as my real self, or a curated version?

    1. My real self, more often than not. People used to say I looked mean or "very Mari." And honestly? If someone said that to me now I'd just say — yes, and? I'm not here to disprove your opinion of me.

14. What does love actually feel like when it lights me up — and is that present in my life?

    1. Ha. HA. HAHAHAHA. Unsure, to be determined.

    2. Actually, scratch that. It’s quite simple really: listen to what I have to say. See me for me and learn to love all my versions. I’m not changing for no one.

15. What do I want the next 6 months to feel like, not just look like?

    1. I want to find direction. As of now, my only north star is pay off my debt. But slowly I’m feeling an itch for a creative endeavor. I’m just not sure what that looks like.

16. What is one thing I’m ready to release before the second half of 2026?

    1. All expectations of what life should be. Cause at the end of the day, it’s all bullshit.

    2. It’s not a release but I want to enjoy what the universe throws at me. It honestly seems more fun that way.

Round of applause if you’ve made it this far. Cause gurl, lowkey I almost stopped half way haha. If you find yourself in a dark spot, just remember it’s going to be okay. Feel your feelings, say what up to them, and take one step to the light. You’ll get there eventually. Thanks for reflecting with me.

Con Cariño,

Marianna